Now, if you are post abortive the title of this post most likely made you cringe. Mother’s Day is approaching and you probably have already been thinking about it for weeks. The cards are out and the Mother’s Day gifts are on the store shelves. There is no escaping it.
Mother’s Day used to be torture for me. I can remember one in particular were I spent the day walking around crying, with my two young sons in a stroller, trying to stay away from all that would remind me of my child that was not there.
Years later at church, it really got to me when I heard the words, “all mothers stand up for a blessing.” I remember being mortified. How can I receive a blessing after what I had done? I don’t deserve one, and yet, if I don’t stand up they may figure out that I aborted a baby. Or, as someone I know who is post abortive and has no living children said to me, “I remember feeling badly about having to sit down.” No matter what the circumstances, there is no denying the pain.
Of course, no one who knows about the abortion mentions it to you. You are left believing that you are the only one who remembers. As with many other days, you try to go on with some semblance of normalcy, but inside your heart is breaking. That is why years later at the ministry I do with The Sisters of Life I decided to meet it head on.
For our monthly “Gathering” (post abortion group), we decided to buy each women a white rose. We would hand out white roses with a tag attached that said “Happy Mothers Day Mom…I miss you, see you in heaven.”
The Sisters were understandably nervous. Was I sure this was ok? Aren’t we bringing up the pain? “No,” I assured them, the pain is already there. We are acknowledging the pain and more importantly, giving them permission to express it.
One by one, the women entered and received their rose. Not one woman was sorry to get it. In fact, it was beautiful. Amid tears, and prayers, and yes, even smiles, each expressed the meaning to them. Their children were real, and so was their motherhood.
We may not be able to hold the physical bodies of our children on earth, but we hold the spiritual and emotional ties deep in our hearts. By acknowledging our motherhood we acknowledge our love for them, making them part of our family, separated by space, but joined forever by grace and love.
Happy Mother’s Day! ~Theresa