Experiencing an abortion as a result of an adverse diagnosis can bring with it many unique dynamics. Connecting with others who have been there and coming to understand what happened is crucial to the healing process.
There is hope after abortion for an adverse prenatal diagnosis. If you have experienced an abortion due to an adverse prenatal diagnosis – know that you are not alone and that healing is possible.
Following is a powerful reflection by a mom who aborted due to an adverse diagnosis:
One week after Tommy’s abortion I was struggling for closure. One minute you’re pregnant and the next minute you’re not, and there is nothing to show for it. I have never held nor seen my baby other than the memories of a child waving his arms for a sonogram. The doctor was not aware of any research that he could donate my baby for the future benefit of others. And there was no body by which to prepare a proper funeral for. He had been disposed of as part of “medical waste.” There was no birth or baptismal certificate by which to name him and the world will never know of his existence other than in his mother’s heart. He was a non-event.
If I had the resources to pull-off such a feat, my dream would be to establish my own non-profit charitable organization whose motto would be the “Mother’s Prayer, ” a poem that I wrote within the depths of distress. I would love to challenge both the medical community and the church and dare them to make it a reality.
A Mother’s Prayer
I pray for the day that one can search the Participating Provider (PPO) section of their medical insurance plan and select an Obstetrician under either the Pro-choice or Pro-life category.
I pray for the day that pre-natal testing is done for the purpose of saving lives rather than destroying lives and then later marveling at the wonders of medical technology to “find out in time.”
I pray for the day that obstetricians present true options to a mother upon receiving an “incompatible with life” diagnosis. Don’t lead me down a scripted flowchart of “if this … then that … therefore terminate conclusion.” Humor me with “what-if” scenarios. I’ll be more than happy to select from option A, B or C and sign off on the appropriate disclaimer documentation that will keep you out of malpractice court.
I pray for the day that the medical community realigns its efforts from “eliminating” the problem to “solving” the problem.
I pray for the day that the medical community focuses not on statistically measuring how many lives were lost due to chromosomal abnormalities but rather on measuring how many lives can be saved from chromosomal abnormalities. (Is the glass half empty or is the glass half full?
I pray for the day that allowing an “incompatible with life” diagnosis to proceed through its natural course would be seen as an opportunity for study towards a solution. Analysis can’t be undertaken without subject material.
I pray for the day that the disposition of a terminated fetus be given the dignity of a proper disposition and not be disposed of as part of “medical waste.”
I pray for the day that obstetricians present the psychological risk factors of terminating a pregnancy. If I had known then that the grief of having killed my baby would outweigh the grief of a natural loss, I would like to think that I could have chosen differently. Given the current state of obstetrics, I don’t know if I could honestly say that.
Are you or someone you know suffering from an abortion due to an adverse pre-natal diagnosis? Visit the Lumina website for information and resources. There is hope. There is healing.